Now, that’s ironic!

Nice to see someone who isn’t taking themselves so seriously.  That’s right Alanis, I am not defined by my humps, or lack thereof.  The juxtaposition between Fergie’s out of control lyrics and Alanis’ haunting (and mocking) tone is brilliant.   Enjoy! 


The Departed


I learned long ago that the correlation between an Oscar worthy movie and what I deem to be a ‘good’ quality movie is often low.  With that being said, I rented “The Departed” this weekend in hopes I’d be mentally stimulated, or at the very least, entertained.  Big mistake!  If anyone can tell me why the movie “The Departed” is worth watching – nevermind worth an Oscar – I’ll buy you a coffee. 

Celebrity JUNK Gone Bad



This post is a response to qmass latest post “CNN vs Britney Spears (BREAKING NEWS)” at  I started writing a reply to his post on his site but quickly realized my thoughts we more than simply a ‘response.’  Also, qmass has been bugging me to post, so maybe this will satiate his yearning for a Jessmo rant.

My response…

This story just makes me feel sad – and is no longer comical to me as it reminds me of the adjoining Anna Nicole Smith story.  Two questions haunt me about the lives of Britney and Anna as they have unfolded before us through the media. 

This first question is why did so many people witness Anna’s fall without doing something about it?  We have some role to play in this even as celebrity gazers/mockers/criticizers because in this role we create demand for information so that we can mock what the celebrities are doing.  Without gathering information at Perez or The about the stupid things celebrities are doing and wearing, we’ve got nothing to mock.  I am a celebrity JUNK-ie without a doubt, but the Britney and Anna story crosses a line for me.  I mean – let’s stop talking about it and do something!! I recognize it is too late for Anna, yet maybe we can learn something from the tragedy that is her life.  We need to stop reading this junk and finding pleasure in the tailspin of someone else’s life.  By watching and reading stories like these – we only encourage the paparazzi to bring information of this kind to us.  Something bothers me about these particular storylines – even though they make me laugh.  Consider the following phrase taken from about Britney shaving her head bald, “I’m guessing she was forced to shave her hair after it got so dirty a family of gophers made it their home.”  No doubt this comment is comical, but like racist and sexist slurs, comments like these just don’t do it for me anymore when people’s lives really are falling apart, especially when there is no longer a grey area of whether or not the media is obscuring the ‘truth.’  I’m nostalgic for the form of celebrity gazing that People magazine offers to me.  I have no doubt People will latch onto the Britney story, they’d be stupid not to, but their pictures and accompanying commentary are less biting, judgmental, mocking, and frankly, easier for me to swallow.  We are witnessing here a turning point in celebrity reporting – it’s all ‘junk’ but some of it is more ‘junkie’ than others.

The second question troubles me more.  Where is our humanity?  Apparently empathy and compassion are in short supply.  I know what it feels like to have my heartbroken; it is devastating and all consuming.  And in the course of trying to get over some stupid boy, I have made mistakes – and certainly made a fool of myself – but good friends remain by my side nonetheless.  My gang understands that sometimes it is tough to be strong, and that sometimes even though you know you shouldn’t do something, you do it anyway.  Britney may be making different sorts of choices and ‘mistakes’ than myself, yet our lives are obviously vastly different.  Britney has different resources at her disposal.  I could shave my head bald if I wanted to, but do not have the financial luxury of entering into a posh rehabilitation centre for 1 day and then leaving.  More mundanely, who hasn’t resorted to the bottle or partied hard to make the pain of a broken-heart go away at least momentarily?  Alcoholism and nervous breakdown, my ass!  Jessmo’s diagnosis: broken-heart.  And in my opinion, a broken-heart is NO laughing matter.

Celebrity JUNK-ie


I’m a celebrity junkie; I do not deny this.  I suffer from the what are Britney Spears and Paris Hilton up to now syndrome.  What each of these individual celebrities is doing, wearing, saying, dating, you name it, is of interest to me.  But what fascinates (and admittedly concerns) me more is the way that which is “celebrity” is slithering into our individual and public consciousnesses.  The stories we are infiltrated with in the media (and by golly we are drowning in them) call out to us to talk, discuss, deliberate, and discuss.  These stories are often about very intimate details of the personal decisions and lifestyle choices of people we do not know and are never going to meet.  Yet, we discuss these people as if we know them, and as if their life and what was going on in it, was going to in some way have an affect on our own life.  Like, WTF is all I have to say about that!

I am by no means exempt from partaking in this behaviour, and I must unfortunately report, if I am to be truthful in my account, that I do find pleasure in engaging in this “celebrity talk.”  What I connect up with a girlfriend, especially one that I have not seen in a long period of time, it is a safe and comfortable topic.  I might say, for instance, so “Have you heard the ‘news’?  Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are reportedly dating.  What do you think about that?”  And without question, a conversation ensures; opinions and thoughts are offered.  Like shit, Jessica is just not good enough for John.  Or, what the hell is John thinking; I’ve lost respect for the man.  Or, crap, my chances of putting a stop to his status as a player are ruined.  Anything and everything is up for grabs – almost at the realm of the fantastical.  [You can insert your own WTF here cuz yes, this IS insanity I tell you and I do, do it].  In particular, I remember following the J-Lo, Ben Affleck controversy like it was yesterday, “So, are they together, or aren’t they?  What’s the deal with their so-called engagement?”  The media was all over it and so was I!   I was writing my MA thesis at the time, and me and my officemate began everyday discussing what we had learned the night before about the saga.  New ‘news’ came in almost daily, and we digested it like candy.  I don’t know if it was the fact that the topic was unrelated to my thesis or not, making this silly banter a much needed mental break, but I also recollect that when the mystery was solved I felt a sense of loss.  The loss was two-fold.  Together we grieved the loss of the relationship for both Jen and Ben.  But there was another sense of loss that was more weighty and disconcerting to me.  And that is the loss of the topic; we were left wondering, well goodness, what are we going to talk about now?  Our respective theses topics: please no!  The possibilities are endless I recognize for other things we could have talked about.  You know, this thing called global warming, or maybe (or maybe not) the Bird Flu as Prof Pauly questions in a recent blog entry.  But I cannot deny that – that which is celebrity fascinates me the most. 

Yet, after writing this personal confession, my fascination with the world of celebrity was thrown for an expected turn the other day when I found an article titled something like, “Britney takes a potty trip around town” on Access Hollywood’s website.  It wasn’t much of an article, but more a sagway for a posting of a 5 minute long video in which a videographer stalked (and, yes this word is strongly appropriate) Britney while she pumped her gas at a Vegas station.  Britney surprisingly seemed happy during the interchange, extremely conversational and pleasant.  Personally, I’d be pissed – that is an invasion of your privacy, even if you are a celebrity junkie who likes to be in the news.  What is interesting (or not so interestingly) apparent in the video is that Britney had to pee, and so she sought out the key to the toilet and made a quick entry and exit.  The story reports that the facilities were not up to her standards and so she made a trip to several other gas stations to find a facility that was.  I sort of question this plot summary because the fact that this toilet journey was taking place was unclear to me; but that is what the story said.  However, what is poignantly clear is that the same videographer followed her around to these additional gas stations and continued to engage in conversation with her throughout this expedition, for whatever purpose.

I watched all of this 5 minute video, which is not typically part of my celebrity gazing activity.  But I did this time.  It was of the most mundane activity, and I can honestly say that it was very boring; yet I watched it.  I must say, other than engaging in an sociological exploration about the meaning of this textual artifact, which I am doing here in part, there really is nothing to at all to say about the content of this video in any conversational exchange whatsoever.  What I am to say to bridge the topic with a potential girlfriend, “So, did you hear Britney had to pee last night?  Apparently she drank too much water.”  Like, WTF, with and infinite number of exclamation points inserted here.  What am I to do with this, quiet literally speaking?  As a reader you might find it interesting to know that I cannot find said video of Britney on her potty-finding expedition on Access Hollywood’s website tonight.  And I promise, it was there last night, because the viewing of it has left me thinking all day!  Interesting to be sure.

By the way, if you care, Britney has died her hair dark brown again.