5 events to be featured on “Jessmo’s Reality Show” if garnered a contract by FOX to capture the reality that was my life this past weekend:
1. Curled against a 83-year old women on her birthday.
2. Curled whilst negoitating my way around two frozen, dead pigs positioned behind the hack on Sheet 4 at the Claresholm Curling Rink who were later roasted on a spit.
3. Attemped to convince my mother not to purchase a mulberry coloured Pet Stroller to showcase her new Pomeranian’s at dog shows this summer. Mission an abyssmal failure.
4. Watched my Dad belly dance ontop of a pool table to win a BBQ. Fucking hilarious!
5. Assured my grandmother that my 87-year old grandfather is not in the hospital with an unidentified source of bleeding because he ate something “sharp.”